stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Randomize
