HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
