He kissed a someone with a penis
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
