You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize