My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
