We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Randomize
