I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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