Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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