There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
