He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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