No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
are you so shy because you have an std?
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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