Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
