I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
