it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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