I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Come on in and take your pants off
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