My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
