I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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