Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
