Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
