Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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