living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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