Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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