Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Randomize
