Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize