Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize