You can't special order awesome
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
