Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Randomize
