kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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