the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
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