He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
she woke up with a sticky ear
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
