what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
