try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
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