I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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