just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
