he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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