Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Randomize
