I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Randomize
