my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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