I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
