margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
