i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
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