we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
