So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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