it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize