Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
