He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
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