Sry I called you an 8
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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