Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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