I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
