I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Randomize