I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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