I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
