don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize