Buhtt sex?
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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