My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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