the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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