I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
