ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
