U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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